Wicked Welding

What do you think of my poem?

Plate

not bad at all; rather expressive in a rather unique way which i don`t see often.
however, i`m not sure if you`re using a particular set of vocabulary because you want to convey a particular kind of imagery; if so, it`s done rather well. however. i get the impression that some of these words; you know them because of the context in which you read them in fantastic novels or something of the sort, and you don`t quite have a full command of their meaning; however, i`m sure that`s something that you`ll get well in time the more that you write.

all in all, it`s rather good.
the first stanza is particularly effective in conveying the idea “madness…milling in my emotions” because of how fragmented the whole stanza seems – split apart and possibly irrelevant but at the same time, connected by some unseen seams that make sense to you more than they do to me.
also, the lack of any formal structure or rhyme scheme reinforces that idea.

i already commented on the last stanza, and the second stanza i`ll write about in context of the whole –

it seems pretty good because the first stanza sets the setting of madness and confusion, while the story [so to speak] progresses as you look to the window and see a scene of peace, but then the clarity of confusion and multitude of your emotions is once again made clear by the third stanza.

seems a rather depressing/sad end to the poem tho`.
all in all, rather you intended it to or not, the poem does a good job of conveying your emotion. to get the meaning, i feel that one has to read it as both fragments and a whole.

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